Stop Entertainment Cannibalism: The Mortis Manifesto (updated for 2013)

A few years back I wrote the Mortis Manifesto.  I intended to update it, but with the possible exception of adding in some brands and one line about “Strong Female Characters”, I didn’t need to do much.  Please note that my tongue is only partly in my cheek.

By decree of Professor Mortis the following will be done:

1) No new stories with old comic book characters in comics. New characters can be created but can not reference, rip-off, or use old ones. Movies can be made using old story lines, reasonably faithfully adhered to.

2) No new entries in the following franchises:

A) Star Wars
B) Star Trek
C) Rocky
D) Rambo
E) James Bond
F) Halloween
G) A Nightmare on Elm St.
H) Friday the 13th
I) Chucky
J) Leprechaun
K) Hellraiser
L) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
M) Psycho
N) Indiana Jones

Special Japanese clause:  Gamera, Godzilla

3) No remakes except for movies that bombed on original release, were critically poorly received and have never gained a cult following. (This includes “Reimaginings”)

4) No more zombies

5) No more characters that turn out to be imaginary as a final twist (includes alternate personalities). On-screen representations of someone’s split personality, or dark side, or what have you if that’s explicit from the start.

6)  Strong Female Characters shall mean female characters who are strong, not that they wear skimpy clothing and kill a few bad guys and then become  subservient to male characters.

7) The following words are banned from being used to pitch new adaptations of old characters:  relatable, reboot, gritty, “realistic”, “for the modern audience”, “mash-up”

8) At least one-quarter of new TV shows and comics must be episodic.  No more than 10% of TV can be “Reality” TV.

9)  No movies based on board games or amusement park rides.

You will follow these rules for 20 years at which point they’ll be further reviewed.

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2 comments on “Stop Entertainment Cannibalism: The Mortis Manifesto (updated for 2013)

  1. theelderj says:

    No more Bond movies? But I liked the last one so much!

    And no more “re-imagining”? Dude, Battlestar Galactica was/is wonderful.

    But, other than that (and especially on the women), good points all around.

    • professormortis says:

      I didn’t give Battlestar a chance, but it could be argued that it doesn’t fit critical reception or cult following rules, though I don’t know.

      As to Bond, I was lukewarm on Casino Royale and really didn’t like Quantum of Solace, so I haven’t gotten around to checking out the latest. Overall I feel like he is a very dated, Cold War character and could benefit a long rest, giving us a chance to, perhaps, finally create some indelible, long lived characters of our own era. Sometimes I feel like the collective weight of pop culture (not to mention valuable back catalogs and merchandizing rights associated with said pop culture) strangles creativity.

      Mostly though, this is a tongue-in-cheek list of things that have annoyed me of late, so I wouldn’t take them too seriously.

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